- I'm Listening To:annie lennox - waiting in vain
thursday night i was in my math class... by the way, i passed quiz #1... WOOT WOOT! just had to add that in there!
anyway, if you read my blog from week 1, day 4... you'll remember the guy who sat at my table and tried to pimp himself out to get a copy of the class ebook... and, i might add, was extremely unsuccessul at that. oddly enough, that girl has never returned after that class... i hope that dude didn't get so mad that he killed her! cause that would be bad.
let me cut to the chase... this past thursday night's class made me want to puke. literally. i unfortunatelly have to sit across the table from this sespool of mucos... yes, sespool of mucos is what i said... because i can't think of another fucking way to describe this guy. how about "white hanes t-shirt sespool of mucos" guy? he's worn the same shirt to all 4 classes we've had. i guess he bought a 4 pack of hanes undershirts at target and is really getting his use out of them. and you know the shirts i'm talking about... they're so thin you can actually see the thread-count from 20 ft away. anyway...
out of the corner of my eye, i see his head lower like he's looking down at his lap, then he slowly lowers his head even more and then his hands start moving towards his face. what the fuck is he doing right now? is he passing out in really slow motion? i was intrigued in some weird way. i mean, i didn't want him to pass out, hit his head, and then blood get all over my $140 text book... fuck that!
then i see, what appears to be a .... kleenex? i wasn't quite sure because it was SO FUCKING SMALL. i mean, literally, it was the size of a square on a checkerboard. it wasn't the smaller kleenex that you get in one of those little travel packs. this was like blowing your nose with a stick of juicyfruit gum. he could barely hold it in his hands it was so small... and THAT is what he's going to put up to his nose? i mean... dude has a big nose. and i'm not exaggerating or being mean. he could be a stunt double for a TOUCAN!
so, even before he brought this kleenex wannabe up to his nose... the MERE humidity from his nostrils made the small towelette SO flipping moist that it became limp between his fingers (ewww that sounds really perverted)... but he proceeded to blow his nose with it nonetheless.
*insert gagging sound here*
first there was a short, quiet, and timid blow... then he FOLDED it over TWICE... by this time, it was no bigger than a DIME! is this origami 101 with kleenex? i mean, what the fuck is going on???
*insert another gag here*
after the origami folding, he would PRESS it against his nostril and inspect it. i felt my dinner crawl up my esophagus at this point. what in the hell was he looking for???? then, after that kleenex was damp, he'd stuff it BACK in his pocket. i guess to keep it, dry it out, and use it for the next class.
so he did that for 2 hours, i have no idea where all these mini kleenex came from... there was no packet, no nothing. it's like he was a mucos magician and kept pulling them out of thin air. well actually, that would be accurate because they were just about as thin as air. i could see through them completely. and even worse than that... i guess he ran out of them in the last 20 minutes of class because then he started using his hand.
no thank you, don't pass me that paper. i'd rather cut myself with a machete and pour 10lbs of salt into the wound. i was grossed the fuck out. and of course... i HAD to catch this on video... lol
i'm sorry that it's sideways! but my new phone doesn't have a moveable camera on it like the last one. now, it's MUCH harder for me to be stealthy when taking people's pictures! doh!!!!!!!!!
- Location:your mom's house
- Mood:
drained
there have been a plethora of experiences lately where i have encountered people with accents. now, let me say that i have been told by people (who, "I THINK", have accents)... that "i" have an accent. and when i asked them what type of accent i supposedly had... they said "a california one". well, this is from people who have a "twang" when they talk. so if a "california accent" means i talk normally, then that's all good by me!
another point i must make... i think that certain accents can be very, hmmm how should i say this... appealing? sexy? depends on the accent. so, i'm not against accents at all! there are just some that i wanted to write about!
so.... annnnnnnnnnyway, here are the accents i've encountered as of late.
1. computer architecture... teacher is originally from korea.
okay so, besides the fact that i need subtitles for everything he says, i find this guy really amusing. it has nothing to do with his accent (well, maybe a little)... but mostly because he's SO fucking HAPPY about teaching us things. AND... he keeps making references to Robocop! which makes me die laughing.
"Robocop turn left! Robocop turn right! Robocop stop!"
And he makes the robot motions, etc... to explain how the computer receives signals and commands etc... but that's not what cracks me up. What's really funny is how he says the word "Zero".
"GEE-ROW!"
that's exactly how he says it. every freaking time. with a TON of emphasis.
ONE GEE-ROW GEE-ROW ONE! = 1 0 0 1
one of my friends, who i had two classes with last semester, was sitting next to me during wednesday night's class...she hates sitting next to me, normally...because i always make comments, and she starts laughing and can't pay attention... etc... so i get blamed for her not doing her work or messing up... WHATEVER... anyway, during the lecture she took my starbucks cup and wrote something on it... so i took my pen and wrote "ROBOCOP SAY GEE-ROW = 0" on her paper and she totally started laughing... outloud. and the teacher asked her what was funny and she's like... "uhhhhh, nothing i'm just laughing cause i don't get it." well that was a stupid response but all throughout the rest of the class i kept saying "GEE-ROW plus GEE-ROW equals GEE-ROW!"
2. britsh accent, where's the queen mutha?
so i walk into our main office about an hour ago (to actually get some stuff to make coffee because i'm DYING today without it.) and i'm ready to walk out the door when a woman and her 2 kids walk inside the building. well, the mom i have seen and met before, but never saw the kids. and....she had a dog with her so you know i stopped to pet the dog for a while. THEN, her oldest kid (who is like 4 years old) starts talking. and i swear to god i thought i was in england!
the mom is british... and even though the kids were born here, and raised here, they have EXTREMELY thick british accents. i couldn't understand a fucking thing they said... i just did the same as when i taught preschool years ago... "nod and smile and say 'oh really?'..." anyway, i'm petting the dog, and harry potter is trying to tell me a story ABOUT the dog, and i'm like... "oh uh huh, really? interesting, etc". i had no idea what he was saying, i looked for the subtitles but there were none to be found!
what i was REALLY thinking was... "it's not a cookie, mutha, it's a fruit newton!" do you remember that commerical from like 10+ years ago??? THEN his little brother walks in, who couldn't have been older than 3... absolutely adorable... then he opened his mouth and i was like, "oh my god, another one with a british accent!" i needed a study guide to go along with the subtitles for this one. he sounded like a 50 year old man with a little boys voice. "mutha, it's time for us to play on the swings, mutha." so polite, so adorable, but the accent totally threw me off!
so.... that's all i have to say about accents for now. my uncle is french. he has an accent. whenever he goes back to france to visit his family, upon his return, i can't understand the man for at least a month. i think i may have A.D.D. when it comes to accents... either that or i just pay attention enough to be sarcastic! you can be the judge!
- Location:work
- Mood:
sleepy - I'm Listening To:crank yankers
i'm perplexed.
wait, let me state something before i go any deeper into this blog (perhaps a bad choice of words??? lol)...
i'm not a fan of body hair. i am thankful for the people who invented razors, nair, ummm...the epilady (for people my age and older who remember what that was), hot wax... and so on and so forth.
now, with that being said, i think there are a few professions that really take the brunt of the body hair issue. such as doctors (ob/gyns, proctologists, urologists, etc)... and those that work in salons and spas who remove the unwanted follicles from their patrons' bodies. i salute you all... however, i don't know how the fuck ya do it!
for instance... today i was waiting for a meeting to begin and someone left a pamphlet for a spa on the table. i was looking at all the different services they offered, checking to see if they had a website (you know i'm always networking)... and then i see that they offer brazilian bikini waxing... and it was only $65! now, i was a bit shocked because... if i was the person who was DOING the waxing... i'm sorry.. that isn't quite enough!!!
now, let me preface the rest of my comments with this... if heidi klum came in, i don't think i'd be having that big of an issue...HOWEVER... if THIS girl came in for a waxing... i might be scared...
and i know what you're thinking... "oh jesse! you're so mean!!!!"
bite me. no, i'm not. and you know you're thinking it too... let's just say this... if this woman walks out of the house with the hair on TOP of her head looking trifling like THAT... you know... well, you just know!!!
next example...
"um excuse me sir... before we begin the waxing process... i'm going to need to use Johnson & Johnson's 'No More Tangles'... it might just be a few hours more."
next...
i mean, could you imagine... "are those porcupine quills in your pants, or are you happy to see me?"
next...
we have covered her eyes to protect her identity! actually, it was like that already, but come ON now... "bring in the heavy duty wax...and the trebuchet! my arms aren't strong enough or long enough to remove this patch, folks!"
next...
once again... "sir, we're bringing in the weedwacker to start the hair removal process... we need to bring it down a few feet so the wax can penetrate to the surface" (haha i said penetrate)
next...
brazilian bell-shaped bikini wax. nuff said
so what's the moral of the story kids... well, if people don't take care of their OUTWARD appearance... than lord only knows what's going on in the "nether-region"... i mean, ya'll know how sensitive i am to things that are even slightly nausiating. but if someone walked in and it looked like they were hiding a neanderthal between their legs... i would definitely change professions!!!!
- Location:work
- I'm Listening To:Lipps Inc - Funkytown
=======
the fall semester ended for me on December 22nd... so in the final week of classes, one of my friends in my publication design class, erica, was telling me about a very interesting excursion she had with our teacher.
first off, this teacher looks like the love child of andre the giant and rosie o'donnell. she thinks the world of me, luckily... and i think she's nice, but also a little weird and slightly gross....
regardless, here's what erica told me...
she said she asked the teacher if she could meet with her after our last class, to talk to her about graduation and just had some questions, etc. well, the teacher absolutely HAD to go do her laundry. so she told erica that if she came to the laundrymat with her, they could talk there...
then erica started laughing... and i was trying to get her to finish telling the story...because up to THAT point, well, it just sounded weird!!
so that's when she said the teacher took out a HUGE 'OL pair of BLACK granny panties from her basket. erica said she almost lost it... and then she said to me...
"I thought the Black Pearl was missing it's sail."
needless to say...i laughed so hard i choked. lol
1. who invented cream-colored, leather tennis shoes?
a. why do men over 65 wear them?
b. why do they wear them with khaki pants and white socks?
c. the inventor should be ashamed of themself.
i. and then shot
2. why do people with no teeth and mental issues like talking to me?
a. do they think i'm their key BACK to the mothership?
3. why do my neighbors use my garbage can?
a. do they think i want to see tampon boxes when i lift the lid?
i. for the record... no i don't.
4. bird shit is quite possibly the most disgusting liquid on the face of the earth.
5. who came up with the word "puss"?
a. did they have an infection and just made it up out of the blue?
b. it's a disgusting word.
i. yet very appropriate.
6. what causes a tourist to lose all fashion-sense when the travel?
a. do husbands and wives really have to wear matching sweatshirts?
i. are they really THAT close?
ii. or just THAT stupid and lame?
7. people over the age of 10 should NOT wear the following items.
a. t-shirts, sweatshirts, hats, and jackets with the following...
i. looney toon cartoon characters (bugs bunny & daffy duck)
ii. disney characters (winnie the pooh & goofy)
iii. superman t-shirts
iv. spiderman t-shirts
v. batman t-shirts
vi. any t-shirt from target or walmart that has animae cartoon characters
8. i need a hug 
9. is there a reason people wear socks with sandals?
a. doesn't that defeat the purpose of sandals?
10. does blockbuster video have a "dingy-pajamas" dress code?
a. only frumpy lumpskins are allowed to enter
i. the more annoying you are, the better.
11. can people with no front teeth whistle really well?
12. my back and shoulders are sore
13. if roseanne barr mated with a bull frog, their baby would look like rosie o'donnell.
a. she has no neck and a square-shaped head.
i. a squished-crooked square, but a square nonetheless.
14. does anyone else think that ben affleck couldn't act his way out of a paper bag?
a. he makes me feel like poking my eyes out with a pitch fork.
i. actually, you wouldn't poke your eyes out, you would poke them IN.
15. i'm a sucker for green eyes
a. *melts*
16. why do kids have diahrrea of the mouth when they get a toy at the store?
a. they either cry because they get nothing.
b. or they talk until they internally combust from excitement
17. i've never changed a baby diaper
a. some might call it "poo-a-phobia"
18. i'm an italian, who speaks spanish
a. donde esta el baño?
i. en tus pantalones
19. "steel magnolias" is one of my favorite movies
a. "weeza, you got a reindeer up yer butt?"
20. i hate people who fart in the grocery store.
a. they should be arrested for tainting the food.
21. how many people can say they work with a real-life hobbit?
a. besides me of course.
22. casey and i watch meerkat manor on friday nights.
a. it's her favorite show.
23. why do people wear football jerseys during baseball season?
a. basketball jerseys at a soccer game?
24. why do kids in highschool get a tux for prom, only to wear tennis shoes with it?
a. is that straight-pimpin in 06/07?
25. i've never been drunk
26. hollywood stars who have forever fucked-up my vision in '06
a. johnny depp's teeth
b. britney spears punani (baginey) whatever ya wanna call it
27. kristyn osborn, from SHeDAISY, is hotter than the sun. wowza
a. green eyes (niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice)
28. i saw the guy with the mullet, no teeth, and cook pants again at starbucks today.
a. he smiled at me
i. all i saw was gums, lots and lots of gums.
29. how come guys on myspace post pictures of their stomachs
a. when they don't have abs?
i. but DO have more rolls than a bread truck
30. where in the hell is bigfoot hiding?
a. how come there are no REAL pictures of bigfoot?
i. but we can solve 30 year old murder cases?
ii. do you think Osama and Bigfoot are in cahoots?
1. maybe they share the same cave?
31. who came up with the following sayings?
a. shit a brick
b. when pigs fly
c. your mama wears combat boots
d. over my dead body
32. how did beastiality come about?
a. i mean, was someone seriously THAT hard up?
i. pardon the pun on that one.
33. how did cavemen figure out how to have sex?
a. if their bodies were covered in hair... i mean, they were pretty fucking stupid. how did they know to put...eh. nevermind.
34. i would rather eat my own vomit (twice) than listen to britney spears sing live.
35. do people really think professional wrestling is real?
a. stacy kiebler is damn sexy though.
36. killer whales have the biggest penis of any mammal on the face of the earth.
a. it can be over 5ft long.
37. did you know that michael jackson used to be black?
a. i know, it's shocking.
b. only in america can a poor black man turn into a rich white man in just 20 years.
38. why do i always get stuck behind student drivers on my way to work?
39. i still need a hug *sigh*
40. adults who wipe their nose with the backs of their hand are disgusting
41. why on earth do people pick their nose in public?
a. have you ever been talking to someone and they stick their thumb up their nose?
i. perhaps thumbs are the biggest "digit" on your hand to PREVENT it from going in your nose?
42. is there a reason parents pick their kids nose in front of you?
a. withOUT using kleenex then wipe it on their pants
i. then they want to shake hands when saying goodbye
b. why do parents let their kids continue to pick their nose when...
i. they are telling you a story about what they did in preschool
1. or in 6th grade... regardless, it's nasty
43. why does my dog try to hump his bed ONLY when i move it from one room to the next?
44. why is it that we always want what we can't always have?
first off, weekends are my time to relax. when i don't have to work on a weekend for a special event, then don't expect me anywhere near my office. plus, the weekend after that i have to work on a saturday at 4:30am-4:30pm... BY MYSELF... outside... and i don't get to leave or take a lunch break.
her email was like, oh i talked to our boss and he said to email you because the superbowl party is a tradition. well let me say this... #1. the superbowl party is for all the fat kids who want free pizza who don't give a shit about football. and wouldn't know the difference between a quarterback or cornerback.
so no, i don't want to drive 20 miles here, to sit for 5 hours, not be able to watch the game, and THEN have to clean up after all these kids and then drive back home, only to have to come back at 8am on monday morning. PLUS, i'll be back in school and i have 2 new website clients i will be working with... and weekends are my one time to work on that stuff.
so i told her that, and she's like, well it would really mean a lot to me.
oh wait, are you the same person who's a bitch to me 99.9% of the time? are you the same person who takes a day off if you're on your period and i have to fill in for you? are you the same person who walks right by me and won't say hello in the morning when you come into work?
it would really mean a lot to ya huh?
then i emailed back and said, i don't know right now. i can't give you an answer. she emails back and says, well if you're worried about getting your work done then you can just take monday off.
well ya rocket scientist. that would be 5 hours i'd take off on monday. so that means i have to come in to work for three fucking hours then go back home? that's a waste of my damn time.
im not emailing her back. i gave my partial answer. if she has a problem with not having enough staff, then she really needs to choose between visiting her family that weekend, or another. or find more staff, you have 3 weeks. but i'm not your slave and i do have a life. a boring one, but a life nonetheless.
example...
was chatting with another one of my friends this afternoon. i've known her for probably 4 years or so. met her online and she has been like a second mother to me. she's in her late 40's, has 3 kids, and has pretty much been there for me over the past few years, through all the good times and bad. i've done the same for her. i respect her completely, but tonight, we definitely had a bashing of heads.
so, the argument.
somehow we started talking about people who have "other" sexual preferences, other than what right-wing christians think is what "god" wants. i brought up the fact that i'm not sure if one of my female friends (who lives here) is straight or bi-sexual. it doesn't bother me either way, she's a friend, has always been my friend, and always will be my friend regardless of any sexual preference she has.
i grew up in a house with a father who was EXTREMELY prejudiced and racist. anyone who wasn't white or straight, he hated them and wished them harm and hell. luckily, my mom, schooling, and my peers exposed me to a world that was open and non-judgemental of other races, ethnic groups, or sexual preferences. i do not care if someone is straight, gay, or bi-sexual. what IS important is how they treat and respect others as well as themselves. it's not my place to judge who someone loves, or how they love. once again, what IS important...?.... HOW they love, HOW they treat others, and what it is they do on this earth to make a difference in the lives of others. that is what matters to me, that is what should matter in this world.
so she was acting like a 12-year old saying it was disgusting, and that someone who was bi-sexual was even worse than someone who was gay. and that it grossed her out and she wouldn't want a woman to touch her. to which my response was... "don't flatter yourself, just because a woman is bi-sexual or gay doesn't mean they want you. that's a misconception that people, who are homophobic, have against anyone who isn't "straight".
then she brought the bible up.
one thing you shouldn't do... get into an argument, with me, about the bible.
her stance: "the bible says it's wrong. the commandments don't mention gays."
striaght up, i told her how fucking stupid that statement was. so then, i got on my soapbox. i asked her if she knew when the bible was written. she said before and after jesus died.
o-k. i said, you may want to google the bible. because it was collected and printed by a german man, who was the inventor of the printing press, and this was done in the mid to late 1400s. which was about 1400 years after jesus.
so then my next question... "did you know what types of jobs his apostles had?"
her answer, no.
well, they were fishermen and carpenters. and in those days, the ONLY people who could read and write were royalty, clergymen, and politicians. so that is why it's the "Gospel according to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John." because they were stories passed down from generation to generation for 1400 years.
and what happens when stories are passed down, they are changed along the way to suit the interests and the purpose of the lives of those who are telling the story. well she had nothing to say.
here's my thing, i am catholic. i was born and raised a catholic. but i will not conform to what the "bible" says is right and wrong when it comes to other people's lives. if someone loves someone, and they're both women, or both men. more power to them. love each other for the rest of your lives and be happy.
but do not bring the bible into other people's bedrooms. you can have your beliefs... but please at least do some homework and understand where the bible came from... how it was brought together to FORM the BIBLE... and wasn't there a verse that says...
"Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you?"
would god want you to judge others? i don't think that's very christian of you...
====
there's many facets of love. varying degrees which can be experienced through family, friends, and lovers throughout one's lifetime. love can be a very beautiful thing... and in turn, can be very painful at the same time. i've learned some difficult lessons about love throughout my life, but i've also learned some really great ones as well.
i've learned that unconditional love is amazing, but not everyone has it inside of them to show it. it may be there, but the inner passion and strength just doesn't materialze physically or verbally. but when it is there, you can look into their eyes, or hear the passion in their voice and completely melt just at the thought of them. without deciphering what they're saying, the emotion takes over and you're caught in a whirlwind of pure love. when you know that person would do anything for you, because that love is so strong... it's not ordinary in any way. it's not something that is meant to be experienced by everyone with every relationship they have throughout their lives... if it was meant to be that way... it wouldn't be as special as it truly is. and you wouldn't be able to fully appreciate it, once you found it.
i've learned that you can love someone with every fiber of your being. but you can't make them love you back just as much. you shouldn't have to beg or ask to be loved. if you ever find yourself doing that, you're not with the right person. communication is key, if you can't be open and honest about how you feel... they're not the one... but your true love is out there somewhere, you just have to open your heart up to find them... and let them in.
many people don't find their soulmate knocking on their front door. they might be a world away, across the country, on another continent, etc. you may have found them, only to be separated by some type of distance for whatever reason... but i can say this about distance...
i would MUCH rather have someone 1/2 way around the world who loves me more than life itself, even if i couldn't see them, hold them, or talk to them... just KNOWING they are out there and that one day we'd be together..
because that's love. waiting to be with the love of your life is more precious than never finding them at all... i'd say, keep that in mind the next time you think someone is too far away.
- I'm Listening To:Sade
why oh why do people need to stand so f'ing close to me? i don't get it! i mean, seriously... it doesn't matter where i am. people are all up on me. now if i had a girlfriend... that's another story... but let me give examples....
for instance...
1) blockbuster video. i was in line, someone walked up behind me and i turned (because i heard music from a display and it was annoying) and this woman's face was basically in my chest. (i'm kinda tall) and then she was like "Oh excuse me." Damn fucking right excuse you! Are you trying to tell me how much change I have in my pocket? Why are you SO CLOSE? It was only her and I in line. Back up lady!
2) grocery store. i accidentally elbowed some kid in the head when i turned to take stuff out of my basket because they were, once again, right up on me. well, i'm sorry i knocked you in your mutated head, but i don't give pony rides on my knee, i'm also standing up, so move away... quickly.
3) petsmart.i'm attempting to write a check and this woman is HUFFING and puffing right behind me. and i'm thinking, what the fuck is her problem? i waited in line just like everyone else, she can wait until i pay the bill...unless she wants to pay it for me. well finally i finish writing it, take a HALF step to the left, and she huffs and puffs again, so she could put a cat toy on the counter. all 2 ounces of it. she must've been incredibly tired holding it. i hope i didn't cause her to strain her back (rolls eyes)
4. starbucks. i'm not on the menu, but it is on the wall. the food is to the left, you're close enough to hump my leg. i can't move forward. i can't move to the left... but you CAN move to the right to look at the food, or you could wait 30 seconds until i move up a little more to look at the menu if your eyes are that bad (helen keller)... there's no need for me to give you a piggy back ride.
wait your turn... and get out of my bubble.
click here to see the movie
Listen up Mr. President (cough cough), stop trying to be a macho man and get our troops out of Iraq. Your OWN Republican Party is turning against your tyrranical bum-fuck of an ass.
======
BAGHDAD, Iraq - A new recording Friday attributed to the leader of al-Qaida in Iraq mocked President Bush as a coward whose conduct of the war was rejected at the polls, challenging him to keep U.S. troops in the country to face more bloodshed.
"We haven't had enough of your blood yet," taunted terror chieftain Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, identified as the speaker on the tape. He gloated over Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld's resignation, claimed to have 12,000 fighters under his command who "have vowed to die for God's sake," and said his fighters will not rest until they blow up the White House and occupy Jerusalem.
It was impossible to verify the authenticity of the 20-minute recording, posted on a Web site used by Islamic militants. The CIA said technical analysis was being conducted on the tape. Al-Muhajir, an Egyptian also known as Abu Ayyub al-Masri, boasted that al-Qaida in Iraq is moving toward victory faster than expected because of Bush's mistakes.
White House spokesman Tony Snow said the Bush administration had no comment on the tape. The tape and its often far-fetched claims came as the U.S. military announced the deaths of five more service members in the 44-month-old conflict, which has grown increasingly unpopular at home. Twenty-six American service members have been killed in Iraq so far this month.
At least 59 Iraqi civilians were killed or found dead Friday as the violence threatens to spiral into all-out civil war. In one of the day's bloodiest incidents, a suicide bomber in an explosives-rigged car killed six Iraqi soldiers he had lured from behind a checkpoint. Just hours earlier, Iraq's army said it captured the Egyptian leader of an al-Qaida cell in Anbar province, an insurgent stronghold.
The audio message appeared to be an attempt to exact maximum propaganda benefit from the results of Tuesday's midterm elections, in which the Republicans lost control of both houses of Congress, in part because of the war. Al-Muhajir praised the American people for handing victory to the Democrats, saying: "They voted for something reasonable in the last elections."
He also said Bush was "the most stupid president" in U.S. history.
"We call on the lame duck not to hurry his escape the way the defense secretary did," al-Muhajir said in reference to Rumsfeld's resignation as Pentagon chief on Wednesday. "Remain steadfast on the battlefield, you coward," said al-Muhajir, who took over leadership of al-Qaida in Iraq after Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed in a U.S. airstrike in June.
"We will not rest from our jihad (holy war) until we are under the olive trees of Rumieh and we have blown up the filthiest house — which is called the White House," al-Muhajir said. The "olive trees of Rumieh" appeared to be a reference to the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, or to Christendom as a continuation of the Roman empire. Al-Muhajir also told Iraqi Sunnis to ally with a shadowy mini-state that militants claim to have established last month under a man identified as Abu Omar al-Baghdadi.
"I vow allegiance to you," he said, addressing al-Baghdadi as the "ruler of believers " and placing al-Qaida in Iraq fighters under his command. Friday's civilian death toll was little changed from previous days. The United Nations estimates about 100 Iraqis die in violence each day, while Iraq's health minister on Thursday estimated up to 150,000 civilians had been killed in the war — about three times previously accepted estimates of 45,000-50,000.
At least 33 bodies were found Friday, most the victims of roving sectarian death squads that usually torture their victims before shooting them. Among the latest victims was a Sunni imam, Akram Jassim, 60, gunned down at the front entrance to his mosque in Mosul, 225 miles northwest of Baghdad, said Brig. Abdul Kerim al-Jubori, a spokesman for the provincial police.
Meanwhile, Bush and his national security team will meet Monday with members of a blue-ribbon commission trying to devise a new course for the unpopular war. The bipartisan Iraq Study Group, led by former Secretary of State James A. Baker III and former Democratic congressman Lee Hamilton of Indiana, is expected to report its recommendations before the end of the year. Members of the group will have a joint conference at the White House with Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley.
and, i want to send a special thank you to Rachel... she listened to all my ranting, raving, and did everything she could to make me feel better last night. so, thank you babe...for all your support, encouragement, and for loving me as much as you do.
=======
and now, the update from yesterday's diatribe.
=======
on my way home from work last night, i decided to call my boss and let him know how i was TRULY feeling after having the time to think about his comments yesterday. in a nutshell, i told him that if his final decision was to move me up to our main office full time... then i coudln't assure him i would be around after i graduate in may.
i also mentioned a few quick facts...
1) moving me up there is basically demoting me to a secretary's job
2) there will be too many distractions to get my normal work done
3) there isn't sufficient space for my filing system
4) i can NOT work in the same office with the hobbit because she is constantly up my ass and that isn't beneficial to our department!
5) there isn't enough work for 1 secretary, so why move me up there to help someone who already has NOTHING to do?
okay so i made about 20 minutes worth of other points of why the change was a bad idea... and i also gave alternatives as to what we could do. he said we would talk about it at our staff meeting today... blah blah.
----
our staff meeting started at 12:45pm. we started off going around the table talking about what we each having going on. events that were coming up... issues etc. then it was my turn and i said i was having a meeting with all my professional providers who teach the programs i offer....
that's when dickwhore hobbit pipes in and says she drove by the african drumming class last WEDNESDAY night, and that the doors were wide open and someone was sitting outside banging on drums.
bitch, why are you bringing this up now? why didn't you call me last thursday morning when this was a FRESH incident so i could've taken care of it then? No, you had to wait until we were in a staff meeting to TRY to make me look bad. she had to keep bringing up the fact that they were POUNDING on the drums. THANK YOU BITCH!!!! I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT!!!
okay, 'nuff of that.
then my boss starts talking about how disappointed he was in "us" at the retirement party last week (i wasn't there so i was safe). that the staff didn't look like we got along etc etc.
well dumbass... that's cause we DON'T!
then he started talking about teamwork, blah blah. and that we don't work cohesively... and he hired us all for specific reasons and for what we could bring as individuals to the department. but the bad side is that we like working independantly of everyone else.
well here's my problem... the rest of the damn staff is stuck in the 17th century and thinks it's cool to shove files into a drawer and not put them in folders or organize them in any way. they also act like computers are covered in AIDS and their bodies are nothing but oozing open sores.
give me a fucking break!
well, then he tells us that hobbit needs help in the office... and he goes, no offense to you (points to hobbit) but you get caught up in a lot of things happening and you say "well i'll write that down later" then you get busy and you never do.
so i look at her and i can see that she picked up her pen and started drawing a rectangle on the paper in front of her...doodling if you will. well, the more my boss started talking about her issues, she started pressing harder and harder on the paper... and her face got more and more read.
then she goes "I have something to say! I REALLY LOVE MY JOB! And i REALLY try my best... but i hate when people put me down and say that i don't do a good job (sidenote: you do a shitty job, hobbit. nothing good about what you do) and that i'm not helpful. because i do my best, and i really do care... and i don't do anything to undermine anyone (sidenote: actually, i could call 4 people from City Hall and they could testify that you talk shit about me constantly).
then she starts CRYING!
oh fucking hell i was loving it. her fingers were PURPLE! That's how hard she was tracing the never-ending rectangle on her page. then she said that she didn't feel appreciated by anyone (including my boss)... and most of the shit she was saying was directed at me... because i have the biggest issue with the NON WORK that she does. i don't let shit slide. if you fuck up on paperwork, dont you KNOW that i'm gonna bring it up.
documentation can save your ass. and when you suck at it, you're potentially fucking it up for the rest of us... that's my biggest issue with her. she has no follow-through. well that, and she's ugly as fuck. but i won't dive into that pool just yet.
so she cries, blah blah blah. blubber blubber blubber.
i said, why don't I go up there tuesday & thursday from 10am-1pm. then each night i will come back and do the deposits and log all that. then she INTERRUPTS ME (which i didn't interrupt the whorebag when she was sobbing, so i thought that was quite rude) and says "i will just do the deposits in the morning". well, my boss was like. no, jesse will do the deposits.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FUCKING COUNT BITCH!
Long story short... she got her ass reamed today. I got what I wanted AND my boss is buying me a NEW computer. I do have more that I have to do, but they're all things I like doing and don't mind doing.
she's basically stuck answering the phones.. .which is the only thing she can do... and doesn't even do that well.
eat shit hobbit. i win again.
so as i'm printing out some work to take with me... i hear a knock on my office door, so i open it. it's my boss. he walks in and has this look on his face. now let me preface the rest of my blog with this:
when he comes to my office, it's never to bring me good news.
he walks in and says, well i just finished my manager's meeting, and they're not giving us the secretary's position back, because they're saying $500,000 is missing from the General Fund. (now, this is not the fund for OUR department... it's for the entire fucking city, including fire, police, the library, museum, community development, and the golf course...)
HOWEVER, we are getting fucked in the ass. oh wait, no I AM THE ONE who is getting fucked in the ass because he told me that NOW "I" have to move all MY shit from MY office up to our main office with the fucking WHORE of a hobbit.
i can't fucking believe it. he was like, oh i know this is going to be hard for everyone, especially you. but you're the only one i can move up there.
here are a few things.
1) i am now being reduced to the job of a secretary. i will have to answer phones, register people for programs, and answer dumb fuck questions from morons walking in off the street.
there is NO FUCKING WAY i will EVER get any of MY work done. there will be constant interruptions. so that's the first way i'm fucked.
2) i REFUSE to sit 4 ft away from that fucking whore. it's been two year's that i have had this position with the department and the stupid bitch has tried something EVERY FUCKING DAY for TWO YEARS to get me in trouble or fired. now she is going to be up my god damn ass every god damn day and that will either make me shoot myself in the face with a high powered rifle, or i may stick the gun up her ass and kill her.
3) because of this, i have decided that i am looking for a new job immediately. hopefully i can find something in this area with a comparable salary as to what i'm making now so that i can at least wait out the rest of the year until i get my 2nd degree in may. at that time, i plan on moving and will be looking to buy a house immediately.
i am so fucking pissed right now, that i may just leave for the rest of the day. i don't give a shit about this job anymore, nor do i give a shit about anyone i work with. BEFORE i took this job, the person who was in my position before me was bringing in approximately $1200/month in revenue. In the 2 years i've been here, i am now bringing in $4000-$5000 PER MONTH.
The OTHER two coordinators LOSE up to $1200 PER MONTH
So, I'm gonna be in a shitty mood for quite a while, at least until I get another job.
and don't hate on my pumpkins, i think i did a good job
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
well, i was walking down an aisle full of skeletons and severed heads that would start talking once you went past them. and coming from the other end of the aisle was an older woman and her daughter. i'm going to assume they were 55 & 35 years old...
anyway, they were talking about halloween costumes and candy, and then right before i pass them, the mom says "i need to use the restroom." well i didn't think anything of it, i wasn't trying to listen to them, but they were talking loud enough as i walked past them to overhear.
she had a sense of urgency in her voice, so i figured perhaps she had a little too much soda with lunch and needed to visit the urination station.
that is...until i walked past her.
i made the mistake of hearing her comment and not holding my breath. i was at that point, in my normal breathing pattern... that i needed a breath. not a big one, just one so i wouldn't pass out! well, let me tell ya...it wasn't pee that she needed to do!!! she needed to take a fucking shit! this woman FARTED as she was walking down the aisle and had no qualms about me walking right into her stench cloud. i gagged. i couldn't help it.
it was almost as if the shit had been cooking in her ass for a while, and she finally decided that it was either going to come out on it's own, or she was going to pinch it back until she could run to the restroom (which was on the complete other side of the store).
needless to say i was quite disgusted. and apparently this woman wasn't embarassed... instead, she just farted all the way down the aisle, and i suspect that she probably tooted her way to the bathroom as well.
i don't know why i breathe when i go into stores like that. it's grocery stores and places like target and such. you'd never smell a fart in abercrombie or american eagle! i should stick with those stores.
GOTTI WANNABE's
i hate people like this... be fucking original you turd guzzling retard
========================================
tonight i was in target, and something hit me. and no, it wasn't a shopping cart...
as i was walking down the aisle i saw this kid who was SLIGHTLY (about 90lbs) overweight. i'm gonna guess he was 12 years old, 40" waist, and was frump-o-licious.
what's frump-o-licious?
frump-o-licious: (frump-o-lish-us) adj
1. when someone is exceptionally frumpy
2. of or having much frump
let me describe what this man-child was wearing... and i say man child because he had to be wearing his dad's clothes. he had an XXXL black t-shirt on... actually, it wasn't black... it was so old it was black-olive colored. black-olive sweatshorts as well. when i say sweatshorts... i mean shorts that are made out of sweatpants material. basically, those shorts are the frumpiest shit you could possibly ever wear.
now, okay...granted, the kid was fat. strike 1 against his health. (unfortunately)... strike 2 were his clothes. and the final fucking strike was his hair. it looked like he has probably been allergic to shampoo his entire life! actually, he's probably allergic to brushes/combs as well.
so here's my thing. parents should know that it's VERY unhealthy for their kids to be overweight. not only for physical health reasons, but mental health as well. eating habits develop as children that we carry into adulthood. so this kid is basically on a path to hell (if food is indeed his issue). granted, he could have a thyroid problem or something else... but, i would think the majorty of childhood obesity issues around america have to do with kids over-indulging in fatty foods (or eating other children, i'm not quite sure).
now, if someone HAS a fat kid... why wouldn't they take OTHER measures to TRY to uplift their little (i use that word lightly) spirits? if i had a fat kid, i would at least make sure they had some spiffy little clothes (not "little" but i'm trying to be nice) and at least a nice hair cut.
but people prefer to send their obese little spawn out of the house looking like they just swallowed the hostess cupcake truck and rolled out of a sleeping bag on the front porch.
newsflash folks... it's not okay to ever let your kids look like trailer park trash. even if you do live in a trailer... let them not be trashy! and for the sake of their health, tell them to put the ding dong down and get them some clothes that fit!
ya bastards
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
chasethestars